Don’t you know how to build self-esteem, do you have a very low self-esteem and want to do something about it? Maybe you are suffering because you are a nice guy and it’s time to change.
We all love it when people like us. And of course, it is very healthy to be nice to people. Helping a neighbor, helping a friend or offering a family member temporary accommodation. Being nice and helpful to the people around us gives a good feeling. But it becomes a problem if we are too nice and it causes low self-esteem.
Being too nice can mean that you are not assertive in situations where you should. Or that you do not give your real opinion during a meeting, discussion or a simple conversation. But instead, you give an opinion that is similar to the opinion of the people arround you. These are symptoms of a person with a low self-esteem.
What happens when you are too nice and do not know how to build self-esteem? You become frustrated, you may get angry and you will find it scary to end up in the same situation again in the future.
So why do we do this, why are we so nice and constantly trying to please other people. Are these only side effects, and do we just have to bear these low self-esteem creating difficulties with honor? Or maybe there is something more going on and the way we behave is not how to build self-esteem. Perhaps we are to nice to others in this way and not to ourselves. But being nice to yourself isn’t that selfish?
Maybe it helps if I tell you that when you are only concerned with pleasing others. You do not show your true self and do not give others the chance to get to know the real you. You also do not let others know what kind of feelings are going on inside of you. This may sound strange, but ain’t that a form of deception? Because you pretend to be different than you really are.
So it might be helpful to know how to build self-esteem by expressing what you are thinking, showing your feelings and being assertive. Instead of pleasing others, it is better to be concerned with showing your true self. This gives them a chance to get to know you and to learn what you think, like and know. Of course this is not accomplished in one day, a week or a month. This may take a while but I am sure it will pay of in the end.
Being too concerned to please others can give you low self-esteem. It is much better to be yourself, give your own opinion and point out to others when they cross your boundaries. This feels very contradictory in the beginning but believe me, other people can handle it and will even show you respect for doing that. Do not show a made-up version of yourself that is occupied with pleasing others. But give them the chance to get to know you, learn how to build self-esteem and show your true self!